umm...hehe..another year has passed.

Ok, so here we go AGAIN. I just read my last post..."has it really been a year" haha! funny words, since yet another year has passed since my last visit. Life is crazy these days (so what's new)
Lily has turned 2, although she's been acting like the stereotypical 2 year old for months now. She is a lesson intelligence and patience. She is extremely intelligent, and manipulative in the lovely way that toddlers can be. She has discovered that she can ALWAYS get my attention by saying "i need a hug, or a kiss" or "i love you Mommy!" She uses this against me. And she almost always wins that battle (and i pray i will NEVER stop letting her win that game!) She is stubborn and willful. I truly believe that God has something very challenging and wonderful for her in the future, and he is raising her with a level of persistence that is stretching my patience. I guess God is growing BOTH of us in that manner. She has also begun to use manners. Now, saying that, I will say that she uses "no, thanks!" a lot, but usually in the nastiest tone of voice that you can imagine coming from a face as gorgeous as hers. it's positively hilarious and enchanting!
Connor is my little man. At 3 years and a couple months, he knows EVERYTHING. And what he doesn't know, he intends to find out NOW! This fills my day with stories that start with, "MOM, did you know.....?" and "Why" "what" "where" and you know the rest of that one. He gets really frustrated when i say "i don't know", and whether i truly don't know the answer (or just don't know what the heck he's talking about), or I'm trying to avoid answering a tough question in an effort to protect his little heart....he always says, "Will you PLEASE JUST TELL ME!?" He is such a wonderful little man. We have been focusing a lot lately on loving our sister. We are learning that LOVING her means NOT hitting/pushing/biting her....as well as remembering to take care to make sure she is happy. We do that by LISTENING to her, and sharing, and making sure that he does what it takes to take care of his baby sister. He is very good at this game, and has shown a heart full of generosity far past the age of 3.
Now with all this excitement, I have begun to ponder a lot on my position as MOTHER. Truly there are days when i feel that i am not cut out for this motherhood thing. Most of the time i feel like I'm just hanging on to the knot at the end of my rope while life takes us for a spin. But i feel it is so important to remember (as i read today on another blog) that Motherhood is a CALLING. Motherhood is what God WANTS from women. He wants us to devote our lives to supporting our husbands and families. There are days that i feel like what I'm doing is just treading water...that there is no significance to all the tiny little things i do everyday...the books i read, the toys i pick up (and pick up and pick up), the household chores, the cooking, the MILLIONS of questions that i answer (sometimes over and over and OVER!). But i have come to realize that the picture is SO MUCH BIGGER than what i can even imagine. Every little thing i do during the day is part of what is shaping the ENTIRE future of my children's lives. I am changing who they will be, how they will act, and the choices that they will make with each and every tiny little decision that I make. The weight of this would crush most women. This is where God comes in. I really don't know how anyone can parent a child and NOT believe in God. He is my ONLY hope of not irrevocably screwing my children up. I cannot do ANYTHING without his grace and mercy and guidance. Being a parent (especially of 2 intelligent and active toddlers) can be such a terrifying experience, but i know that i don't have to be afraid, because the God of the UNIVERSE (the UNIVERSE PEOPLE!!) is right here with me, and with THEM...and he will protect us. And what he doesn't protect us from, he will be there WITH us to see us THROUGH. This kind of peace is the ONLY reason I can continue to live the life i live, with these two BEAUTIFUL challenges that God has given me. These little challengers...that grow me, and amaze me, and stretch me, and teach me MORE about the kind of LOVE that God has for me, and wants FROM me.
Lord, let me honor them with my words and my actions. Teach me to show them YOUR kind of love and mercy so that they can live a life that knows the JOY and PEACE of a life spent with YOU.